Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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