Got a toothbrush?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
