did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Damn victory sex feels great
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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