Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I die, sorry about rent.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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