he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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