Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
