i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
my liver is dry heaving
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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