I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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