She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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