I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
