People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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