i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
