The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
