I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize