I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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