I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
should my penis look like a turkey
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
