I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
