she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
