felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
