I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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