college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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