You're so nebulous sometimes
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
