My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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