The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
