we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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