I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
