I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
