I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
