I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
