He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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