Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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