found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
