Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
