She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
