ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need water and some morals
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
