He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
