At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You made out with two different species that night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
