Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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