Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
