So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
