I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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