After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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