I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
