Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
