Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
