hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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