he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
