Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
