I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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