He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
