i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
