dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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