I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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