In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
