...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
