hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
