my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
