I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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