Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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