hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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