Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
