Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
