Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
