I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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